Live Out Loud-Where Has My Sparkle Gone?

I saw this quote on my friend’s Facebook page yesterday and it got me thinking…

“Go make memories. Go create stories. Go collect experiences. If I can sum it all up in one little sentence, let it be this: Live a life that would make you jealous.” -Long Distance Love Bombs

Like I said, it got me thinking. Am I living my life like that? I have great stories from my past and fabulous memories from all the 51 one years of my life, but am I living a life that would make me jealous? Am I out there living out loud? Not really…

Don’t get me wrong…I love my life. I am happy with living in Hawaii, with the friends that I have and especially with the man in my life. Those things are non-negotiable and won’t change. What I am talking about is me and what I do. I live my life kind of in the shadows, not really making that much of a ruckus. When did that happen?

I have always been loud and in the thick of things. I always used to put myself out there and wasn’t afraid to be silly or afraid to do things, but something happened along the way. I became uncertain of myself.

This isn’t meant to be an it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to kinda moment, no pity, down on myself thing, it’s just strictly observation and refocus. I used to be the first one to get up and sing karaoke (yes badly, but still) or be involved in a youth group skit or rally the troops for a fun time, but now it seems I am more of a hide behind the group type of girl, my sparkle has slightly dimmed and I am definitely not living a life that would make me jealous.

I am not talking about money here; I am talking about memories and good times. I got stuck along the way. Like writing for example. Yes, I took a chance and started this blog, and I am really happy with how it is going, but I have been too self-conscious to send anything out for publication. I am also a network marketer with an awesome company, but I am afraid to hit the live button to talk about it on social media. I have always wanted to surf and be a beach girl, my IG name is gidgethawaii for crying out loud, but have never tried to get on a board for fear of looking ridiculous. I am stuck and need to find a way to climb out of the self-induced small life I have made for myself.

I will be 52 tomorrow…52!!! And it is about time I try to find a way to get back to my old self. I have been too quiet and too serious for too long. I am bugging myself, so I am sure I am driving everyone else crazy. Neil always tells me, “You know how to stop (fill in the blank)? Just stop (fill in the blank).” Like just knock it off already and do the thing. No game plans, no strategies…just dive in, head on, back into the girl I once was and leave this protective shell I made for myself behind.

Green Day says it best in their song “Good Riddance”. Actually, the song wasn’t meant to be a feel-good memory song, but that is what it has turned into, so I will use it here (forgive me Billie Joe, lol).

“So take the photographs and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good times. Tattoos of memories, and dead skin on trial, for what it’s worth, it was worth all the while. It’s something unpredictable, but in the end, it’s right, I hope you had the time of your life.” – “Good Riddance” by Green Day

I am diving in and making the second half of my life full of sparkle and light. No more sitting around doing nothing, content with being on the sidelines. I would rather try and make a fool of myself than sitting around doing what I am doing now. it is time to go live out loud and make a life I would be jealous of…stay tuned for the results.

***Question for the comments…have you ever felt like you aren’t out there living to the fullest? If you have, what have you done to push past it?

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Author:

Hi, I'm Tracie. I am a writer, reader, life coach, lover of the city and the beach. I am a big fan of all things caffeinated. I dig things from many different decades, but am a definite child of the 80's. My blog is about everything and anything my mind conjures up. Enjoy the ride.

14 thoughts on “Live Out Loud-Where Has My Sparkle Gone?

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