Too Shy or Just Nah?

I have been rewatching Gilmore Girls on Netflix, it’s a favorite of mine, and there is a line that Lorelei throws at her daughter that always sticks with me. They are talking about a dance that Rory says she doesn’t want to go to, and Lorelei says, “Do you not join because you really don’t want to or because you’re too shy?” I have been asking myself the same question.

If you ask anyone that knows me, they will tell you that shy is not a word that comes to mind when they think about me. I am loud, funny and usually in the thick of the conversation…I am not known for being shy.

But looking back on life, I realize I am actually a little shy about joining in on certain things, but I usually masquerade it with a too cool for school attitude. You know what I mean. I pretend that I am above doing such things, but really in certain circumstances…I am really shy around certain people.

For instance, I went to a small Lutheran High School in Baltimore. A lot of rich kids went there, and we were not. I don’t really know how we paid for it; I know it was definitely not on scholarship. I am not dumb; I just never did enough schoolwork. (The Sulpazo lazy curse rearing its ugly head) Anyway, I had friends there, but I shied away from a lot of activities because I didn’t want to put myself out there for the school to see. I don’t know why, maybe I didn’t want them to think less of me or laugh at me. It’s a shame, because I would have liked to be in a play or work on the school newspaper or even a cheerleader. Yeah, I know, I do not come across as a rah rah kinda girl, but I am.

Even as an adult I have distanced myself from doing certain things. Here in Hawaii is another good example. When I moved here, I had a vision of being part of the beach scene. I wanted to learn how to surf and hang out at the beach and be part of that crowd. I was living in Waikiki, a block and a half from the beach, you would have thought it was perfect. But I never did it because I was too shy to go to the beach by myself to meet people. I had friends at work who wanted to teach me to surf, but since I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of them on a board, I never went. One day I will live out my Gidget fantasy and be on a board. I don’t know when, but I will.

Being shy is horrible for me. Normally, like I said, I can be larger than life. But even reading the announcements at church makes me nervous and we are a small congregation. I really need to get over myself, because the plans I have and feel called to will put me front and center in front of a lot of people. I guess I just have to feel the fear and do it anyway. I can’t be too cool for school anymore; I’ve missed too much already. Ok…let’s go do life big and loud, it’s what I was meant to do.

***Question for the comments…Are you shy in certain circumstances? If you are, how do you handle it? If you are not, any tips for getting over it?

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Author:

Hi, I'm Tracie. I am a writer, reader, life coach, lover of the city and the beach. I am a big fan of all things caffeinated. I dig things from many different decades, but am a definite child of the 80's. My blog is about everything and anything my mind conjures up. Enjoy the ride.

8 thoughts on “Too Shy or Just Nah?

  1. This is a good one and I am interested in the responses you’ll get. I have always been shy, painfully so as a child. I was so shy that I would hide when unknown visitors would come to the house. I know that may come as a surprise. As a teen I became involved in the Debate club at school. Looking back, it was a way to confront some of that shyness. As I’ve gone through my adult years, I think I’ve just sort of taken the God whispers and rolled with some of them. And that has ment getting way outside of my comfort zone and being in front of people, usually in a speaking or teaching role. It is still not my favorite thing and if I go to say a party at someone’s house, most likely you’ll find me in the kitchen helping because that is where I am comfortable. I can strike up a conversation there and that will usually carry out into the general party area. If/when I decide to try something new or go to an unfamiliar place, I do my research, go, put my head down and do whatever it is. But I will still get the heck out of dodge as quickly and quietly as I can. LOL

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    1. I actually would never have thought you were shy. Just goes to show, you never know how people feel behind what they are showing the public. I could walk into a new school in elementary and just announce to the class that hey, I’m the new kid and never felt shy. I wonder when the shyness for me really hit.

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  2. Once again, opposite sides of the same coin. I have no problem with public speaking, nor do I have problems in small groups. I LOVE public speaking (says the narcissist 🤣) Large parties is where I wanna shrink into the floor.
    Haha! Schoolwork was always so easy, I never had to. Even grad school was easy. I could have gotten waaay better grades, but since I never had to put in the effort, by the time I should have, I couldn’t have been bothered. Thanks Dad! 🙄
    As for school activities, I did a few plays, and was on the yearbook 1 year. I didn’t go out for sports because since we didn’t play as kids, there was no skill set. In Scranton, I went out for cheerleading, but I wasn’t stiff enough. We Philly girls aren’t into that stiff as a corpse cheerleading crap.
    Doing the Gidget thing, you should have done it when your friend offered to teach you. That’s when you laugh at yourself for being a dork, one on one, not in a class. But the blog is a start…now do the rest, it’s your density…

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    1. LOL…always appreciate a back to the future reference. There are philly girls that cheer stiff as a board, don’t start, LOL. Maybe since we weren’t encouraged enough, blah ,blah ,blah. But enough of the blame game..ma’am yes ma’am…I will embrace my destiny

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  3. Tracie, I’ve not thought of you as shy, but maybe a little reserved! I think you don’t jump into situations or friendships until you feel the situation our or relationship out. I love just how you are. I’m sorry you weren’t a Cheerleader, because you would have been a terrific asset to the group! Have you ever had a course to help you get over the fear of standing up in front of people? I think it would benefit you; it did me! I think it was the best class I’ve ever taken out of all my coursework I had in receiving my degree. I used to shake before crowds or even just speaking in front of a small group; and I would even sing solos in front of our Church at an early age but couldn’t gather the courage to speak. ❤️

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    1. Thanks girlie…I think I woulda been a great cheerleader 🙂 I have taken courses on how to help others, I am a certified life coach…but its really a matter of doctor heal yourself. I just have to keep working on it.

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  4. I think apart of me is shy…but I still remain friendly, there’s been times I go to a party or to somewhere unfamiliar…but I don’t sweat it…the thing for me is I’m comfortable cruising by myself…if you want to say high I’ll acknowledge you, I’ll even strike up a conersation…sometimes I just sit and enjoy watching and observing people…it’s actually amusing how people carry themselves, or what they wear, how they walk…sometimes I find it hilarious and enertaining

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    1. I think you are just a friendly guy, but I wouldnt think of shy. Maybe you cruise at a party by yourself, but you wont be like that for long. People are drawn to you because you are approachable and you always make everyone feel comfortable. My first day at hope chapel I got there early and was drinking coffee outside by myself. You and Kila came out to chat and you gave me a warm friendly smile even though you didnt know who I was. It’s a good trait to have. 🙂

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